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On to the Next
One...
Breaking Down
the Toon:
I can vividly
remember being 10 years old, during the days when you got home from
school, got in front of the couch on the floor on the yellow-cake carpet,
with a large pillow in between your elbows to watch one of the Winter's
best television events: The Winter Olympics from some foreign
nation. I wasn't so "captivated by the pageantry" that the
Olympics, both Winter and Summer. I wasn't "in awe of the hockey
talent that fought and triumphed over the mighty Russkies in the oval
arena. I wasn't even all that taken with the cool figure skaters
dancing to touching sappy music, but by what was arguably the best
television available for a 12 year old: The chance to see ANY
accident by either the Ski Jumpers, the Bobsled Teams, the Luge folk, and
Eric Heiden: The dude with the largest thighs and calves on the
planet.
What can I say?
The "Duhn-duhn duhn duhhhhh!" of the Wide World of Sports intro for so
many years (that now doesn't hardly ever appear) and the sparky tones of
Jim McKay RULED, man! The imagery of "the agony of defeat" was
something that I always looked forward to, hence the Ski Jumpers held the
attention that few get today.
I once again
witnessed a different kind of "wreck" this year. I witnessed the
fall of trust in the judges judgement. I saw firsthand (thanks to
ever-improving television coverage) some of the best "duuuuude" moments
in Snowboarding, and I saw some of the most disgusting olympic behavior
in recent memory. To those that say "why do we have a first, second
and third place?", I say "because it's a competition, bonehead!"
There are always winners, and people that don't win, and the people that
are REAL champions are the ones that know that perhaps today wasn't their
day. We don't ALL get gold medals, we don't ALL get to sit on the
"top pedestal" and we are all "great athletes," but every four years,
there can be only ONE best athlete...
... Except of course
THIS YEAR, where two teams are awarded the Gold in Pairs Figureskating.
To the Russians who
"won the gold" preliminarily: What are you thinking? You got
the gold, and then the judges, because of an unbelievable act of idiocy
give ANOTHER set of gold to the people that "got second." Why
aren't you up in arms about that? If you know that you've provided
and can provide regularly gold medal-winning events, why not do
SOMETHING?
To the Canadians that
got "screwed": Congratulations on your winning of the Olympic Gold
Medal -- The ones just like the Russians who you beat flat out this year
at the Olympics have. You won the gold, and the even more shiny "*"
that will, like so many records now recorded in the history of sports, be
forever remembered as "hopeless middle-ground finder." If nothing
else, your careers and talents will lend themselves well to stand-up
comics and cartoons all across the world. Come on back in 2006 and
kick some ass: I know I'll be on the floor, with a pillow between
my elbows watching.
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